The past week has been really tough. My mom passed away last Wednesday and we are all still in turmoil, shock, despair, grief, and whatever other emotion you could possibly imagine having in this new reality. Not a day has gone by when I haven't cried for the end of our life together, the end of future conversations and shared experiences. I try to fill my head with all my happy memories of her laughter and the love and silliness she shared with us all.
I am extremely sad that she will not get to meet the new baby in person; her grandkids were the light of her life. She was there when Graeme was born and was the first person on earth he actually laid his newborn eyes on and we had been planning on her being there for the birth of this, her 11th grandchild. Deep in my heart, I feel and know that she will be there in spirit and that she will again be the first to welcome this child into the world. Her baby prediction was for a third boy for me and the other week had bought and delivered two new boy outfits for him. Whether this kid is a boy or a girl, I think I will make a point of making him/her wearing the outfits anyway. She would find that hilarious, especially if her next grandchild is a girl.
One thing I've learned and hope to never forget is that all the petty angers and arguments are really just that in the end - petty. They are not the things that matter most. What matters most is love and lifting the spirits of those around you. When you are faced with any sort of choice about people, always choose what matters most...
Life and people are precious so don't forget to tell those close to you just how much you love them. Don't miss the opportunities for that extra bear hug and that extra "I love you." Do it often. I find some solace in the fact that we had been spending so much time with her lately and that the last words we said to each other were, "I love you and I'll see you later."
Move forward in happiness and love,
Her obituary and a guest book: http://www.legacy.com/insidebayarea/DeathNotices.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=107794891.